The Howler
by Courtney-Helena Greene
Summary: Lily won't look at James, and he can't even begin to imagine why. Kenmare Kestrals Quidditch League submission. James/Lily, slightly alternate timeline.


THE HOWLER

A/N: This is for the Quidditch Fanfiction League's Kenmare Kestrals (woo!). I'm really tired. I'm kind of bending the canon's timeline, but really who cares.

James stared at Lily from down the table. They'd been together for almost a year now, and suddenly she just wouldn't look at him, like something inside of her had snapped and the 'I LOVE JAMES POTTER' switch had been turned off. He missed her beautiful emerald eyes and her soft pink lips, and he missed holding her dainty waist and pulling her close. He couldn't help but steal a glance at the Slytherin table, where the greasy-haired Snape sat. He wondered if perhaps Lily had forgiven him, and he told her horrible things about James. James wouldn't put it past him; in his eyes, Severus Snape was a germ he couldn't wait to wash his hands of. Turning back to Lily, he noticed her gazing at him. He tried to hold eyes contact but she whipped her auburn head away, once again leaving him behind.

He glanced away for a second, and when he looked back and saw Lily standing. Immediately after he heard Dumbledore announcing dinner was over, and he rushed to follow her. Unfortunately a flood of students crowded around him, pushing and pulling while they tried to get to the exit. He looked above the sea of bobbing heads, and his heart sank when he realized that the red head he saw was only Yvonne White from Hufflepuff or Tracy Walker from Ravenclaw. He tried to push ahead and find Lily, but by the time the students had dispersed she was nowhere to be found. James was mid-sigh when he felt a hand clap on his back, startling him.

"We need to talk," Sirius, his best friend, announced. Remus just followed behind them, nodding in agreement.

"I just love her so much!" James cried, his eyes bloodshot with tears. Sirius looked at him with a very confused look on his face. James glared through his tears. "Don't you laugh at me, Sirius Black! You don't even know what love is," when Sirius opened his mouth to protest, James held up a finger. "Sleeping with every blonde in the Gryffindor house is not love." James almost laughed, then remembered. "The way I was with Lily was love," James continued sobbing as he clutched a red pillow to his chest. He reached out to Sirius for a hug.

"Dude, no chick flick moments." Sirius held up his hands, repulsed by the blatant display of emotion.

James just pouted, gazing at Sirius with his puppy-dog hazel eyes. Remus caved, and put his arms around the sobbing James. "Why won't you hold me, Padfoot?"

"First, I don't do cuddles. Second, I don't think Lily is really gone," Sirius shrugged. James immediately perked up, so Sirius continued. "Believe me, if she thinks you cheated, she'd come to you. Believe me, I've been with girls way shyer than Lily and they can still pack a punch," Sirius rubbed his jaw, remembering. "Anyway, if she though you did something unspeakable she's beat the shit out of you. It's Lily, for god's sake."

James smiled for a second, then knitted his eyebrows together. "Wait, so if it's not me, why won't she talk to me?"

Sirius frowned, uneasy about what he was going to say. "Well, Prongsy, the only reason could be that _she's_ done something," James's eyes widened. "You'll just have to be ready to forgive her for what ever is coming."

James's jaw set. "I love her. I _can_ forgive her. All I need to do is talk to her, and maybe she'll see that I can love her through anything." Sirius gave him a thumbs up and Remus patted him on the back. James immediately jumped up and left the room, eager to go to the library where Lily would be studying for finals.

Sirius and Remus just sat on the bed, looking at the door. Remus rubbed his stubbly chin. "I wonder how far he'll get before he realizes he forgot his shirt."

James quietly slipped into the library, now donning black jeans. He let the heavy wooden door close behind him quietly, and smiled when he saw Lily's pretty head didn't even move. He held in a laugh; that was Lily, always worried about her grades. He approached her quietly, then put a hand on her shoulder.

"Hi, James." Tracy Walker smiled at him, turning around. James jumped, and looked around the room wildly. He saw an auburn-haired girl pushing the exit door open quickly.

"Bye, Tracy." James mumbled, dashing after the quickly disappearing girl. She was halfway down the hall, head in her hands when he called out. "Lily!" She turned around, and James couldn't hide his grin when he saw her face. "Lily, why have you been avoiding me?" Lily just squeezed her eyes shut, and James jogged to her and held her hands. "Don't go," when Lily opened her pretty green eyes he melted. "Lily, if you leave it will break my heart. It doesn't matter to me what's happened, and it doesn't matter what's going to happen. All that matters to me is you. Every time you don't meet my eye or you run from me, something inside just breaks. I love you with every fiber of my being, Lily. I know that sometimes you hate your hair or you hate that you're muggle born, but none of that changes you in my eyes. You're perfect for me to love, and I don't care if you think I should marry some nice pure-blood girl. I don't need her, because she isn't you. Just you wait, because I promise you this: one day I will whisk you away and marry you, and we'll vacation in Spain and have twenty kids, named whatever you want. We'll travel the country when our kids grow up, but we'll never leave them behind. Then that day when we're swinging on the front porch and you hold my old wrinkly hand, I'll kiss you like I always have and make our grandkids say 'ew'. Then if you die first I'll die that same day, because I can't live in a world without you. Lily Evans, I will marry you, and it will be the best thing that has ever happened to me."

For one brilliant second James swore he saw her smile, but she quickly covered her mouth and dashed away. James watched her leave and when he could no longer see her he listened to her footsteps. After an eternity he was alone, painfully alone, and he could only stare at his hands. "Marry her? James Potter, you have a knack for scaring off women."

James sat in the dining hall, Sirius, Remus, and Peter all trying to cheer him up. Nothing worked, it was like he was completely dead inside. "She ran away from me," he mumbled, "I asked her to marry me and she ran as fast as her pretty legs could go."

James didn't even look up when the room was flooded with owls bringing mail. He only snapped out of his daze when he noticed a bright red Howler land in front of him. James straightened up and blanched. Sirius leaned over, wincing. "Maybe you did do something to her," Sirius just shrugged, pointing to Lily's owl flying away.

Wincing, James lifted the envelope. The whole room went silent, eager to hear James Potter get chewed out. For the first time James realized that he wasn't the only one who had noticed Lily's odd behaviour. Close to tears, he opened it.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

James quickly realized this wasn't a regular Howler as a heartbeat filled the Great Hall. He glanced at the letter. At the top it read '_Look what we made_'. Then, at the bottom James lost his breath. There was a moving ultrasound of an infant. James's jaw dropped and he covered his mouth, all his strength fleeing him. Thinking he couldn't be any more surprised, he read the very bottom. '_Of course I'll marry you, you bloody fool._'

James was snapped out of his daze by someone grabbing his hand. He recognized those soft hands, and turned around as she pressed his hand to her stomach. "He's still too small to kick," Lily grinned, tears streaming down her face.

"He?" James asked, his voice cracking.

Lily cocked her head to the side. "I'm feeling 'Harry'."

James gazed at her in awe, then got up from his seat and kissed her. The room erupted in applause, and James relished in the taste of her salty tears mixed with his. He rested his forehead on hers, one hand on the small of her back and the other on her stomach, where her baby was growing. _His _baby. _Their _baby. He kissed a tear away and grinned in bliss. "Lily Evans, you have no idea how much I've missed you."

A/N: Yeah, yeah, I know they didn't have Harry until they were 20 but this is a cute story so leave me alone. Unless you're reviewing. Then please, talk away ;)


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